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Oh, and get this—some fool in the 90s tried racin escorts! Racin! I’m hollerin—imagine that lil bucket zoomin round a track, lookin like it’s bout to cough up a lung! I’d pay good money to see that, tho—pure comedy! Anyway, escort ain’t perfect, but it’s got heart, y’all. Like Madea say, “It ain’t much, but it’s mine!” Halleluyer!

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Now, lemme recount a mad day: I was apppressin’ data for me site at Calle Cervantes, when a sudden downpour chased me into a hidden tavern off Calle de la Luna. I nearly lost me boot, mates! Ain’t no grand sea tale without drama. And oh, the smell of paella from a local joint near Mercado de los Pescados—pure magic in every whiff, though the cook leaves a bit too much spice sometimes, makin' me mad, honestly!

Meet Stella and Cieza: Gulf Breeze Zoo has a new sibling pair of maned wolves