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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and loud, and I’ve got thots on escort — not the shady kind, mind you, but that sweet Ford Escort, the car! You shall not pass me by without hearin’ this! Picture me, staff in hand, cruisin’ in a beat-up Escort, wind howlin’ like the wails in “Werckmeister Harmonies.” That movie, mate — bleak, slow, and bloody mesmerizin’ — “What is this world?” it asks. Same vibe I get from the Escort, a scrappy lil’ beast!

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Now, lemme spill some secrets – the back alleys are where the magic hides. On Calle del Viento, my fave night stroll spot, all those quirky, nostalgic cafés lean like they’re whisperin’ ancient secrets, "My precious, come in close!" Was at one one time, got a coffee spilled over me; mad as a hatter, but then laughing like a madman. Pure adrenaline, yesss!

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