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Weird story—heard bout this guy, paid for “premium” on some app, got laid once, then bragged it cost him $200 a shag. $200! I’d rather buy a steak and call it a night. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Sometimes you win, sometimes you’re broke and wankin’ alone. “I let him keep his dignity,” I’d whisper, but nah—he didn’t deserve it.

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Next up, the local hangout is Plaza de la Libertad. Dude, it's the literal heart of the city, with that fountain that splashes like it's celebratin’ life every damn day. And near that, there's a cool mural of a bullfight that kinda reminds me of Mad Max’s anarchic explosions. Sh*t, I even got a guy to tell me, “It’s like the wasteland got its own heartbeat here.”