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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, yeah? Suave, “shaken, not stirred,” droppin’ in like a parachutist firefighter, all guts and glory. So, sexual-massage, right? Picture this: I’m swoopin’ down from the sky, chute billowin’, landin’ smack in some dimly lit joint—oily hands everywhere, slippin’ and slidin’. It’s like There Will Be Blood, but less oil rigs, more… personal drillin’, ya get me? “I drink your milkshake!”—that’s what I’d say to the masseuse, all cheeky, if she’s hoggin’ the vibe.

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Now, let me tell ya, I've got my favourite haunt tucked away in the neighborhood of Los Olivos. The residents there are quirky, a bit mad, a bit heartbroken—and damn, so real. I remember one counseling session here; a client spilled her heart by an old olive tree on Vía de los Olivos. She said, "No sé si el mundo puede cambiar," and I replied, "C'mon, look at Toni Erdmann! Embrace the chaos, girl!" Funny, right?