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But yo, it ain’t all glitz. Gets dark, real dark. Some get trapped, forced in – that shit fires me up! Makes me wanna smash somethin’, like a steel chair on a Monday Night Raw set. “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!” – another *Eternal Sunshine* gem. Escorts? Some ain’t so happy, brah. Coercion’s real, and it’s ugly. Pisses me off seein’ people stuck, y’know? Wish I could piledrive the scumbags runnin’ that show.

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I gotta tell ya, sometimes Cartaya drives me nutso – in a good way, ya know? From the chaotic traffic near Calle San José, where some drivers perform stunt-level maneuvers, to the tranquil spots at Mirador de las Estrellas, where you can just chill out and think life’s a big ol’ rollercoaster. I even saw a stray cat reading the newspaper (or so it seemed!) on a rainy Tuesday. No joke, it was so bizarre it almost made me say, "I am in the middle of nowhere!" D’oh!

Twins acquire catcher Diego Cartaya from Dodgers; arbitration eligible players all agree to contracts