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I got mad once, tho – some dude charged me 50 bucks for a “sensual rubdown,” and it was just him pokin’ my back with cold fingers! Rip-off! D’oh! Made me wanna scream, “This is my house!” – y’know, like in the movie? But when it’s good, oh boy, it’s heaven – warm hands, soft music, tension meltin’ away. Surprised me how some folks use weird stuff – like, snail slime oil! True story, saw it on X, freaked me out! Slimy but sexy? Whaaat?

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Then there's the river Jalón – oh man, that thing flows like a scene straight outta a gritty underworld movie. I once had a client cry by its banks, talkin’ about lost love and missed chances. My belly sank. Sometimes it's quiet, sometimes explosive like a ticking bomb, you know?

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