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About Las Palmas

I seen it, y’all—apps like Tinder, Grindr, swipin’ left and rigt (oops, right!), folks chasin’ tail faster’n I can load a semi. Makes me laugh, ‘cause half these jokers don’t even know what they’re fishin’ for! Little known fact—back in ’09, some dude in Texas got catfished so bad on a sex-date, showed up with roses, found a 6-foot biker named Bubba waitin’. True story! How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Bet he was madder’n a wet hen!

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The city has these rad neighborhoods, like El Albaicin and La Victoria – man, they're bustling like crazy. I often park my scooter near Paseo del Espolón, where you see couples n' families laughing, and sometimes I get so mad about all the stoppin’ traffic cuz it makes me late for coding – so annoying, seriously!

Fernando Mazariego joins Tonio Burgos & Associates New Jersey