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Heya, pal! D’oh! Me, Homer Simpson, fish geek—yep, ichthyologist—gonna yap about sexual-massage. Mmm… donuts. So, sexual-massage, right? It’s fishy, but not like trout! More like slippery eels—oily, wild, crazy stuff. Watched “Carlos” – that flick from 2010, Olivier Assayas, my fave—got me thinkin’. Carlos’d prob dig this sensual rubdown vibe, y’know? “The world is yours, man!” he’d say, all intense, while some chick’s kneadin’ his back—ha!

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Oh, but let me not neglect the hidden gem: the Vermillion River. A babbling, sinuous stream, it carves its way through the heart of our fair city. Nay, thine eyes haven't deceived thee—here, couples abscond under moonlit vigils, their secrets mingling with the murmur of the flowing water. I once spied a clandestine meeting—so romantic and so scandalous, it made my heart leap (and, btw, made me so mad at the world sometimes, if truth be told!).

‘From the ocean to the stars’ at KOS Xtreme Triathlon