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I tried it once, ok? Got on Tinder, lyin’ about my height—six foot, bitches!—and this girl’s like, “let’s meet.” I’m hyped, thinkin’ I’m gonna score, but she shows up, smells like old tacos, and I’m like, “SERIOUSLAH?!” Made me so mad I wanted to scream, “Respect my authoritah!” right in her face. Didn’t even bang her—total letdown. But here’s a fun fact, right? Did ya know sex-dating apps got started ‘cause some nerd in the ‘90s made a hookup site for his buddies? True story! Now it’s all “DTF” this, “NSA” that—alphabet soup of horniness!

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They are simply delicious but dark and sweet orangey. Orange jammy as opposed to the bitter-sweet marmaladey Moscatel Naranja from Malaga.

I can be snarky, sure. Some days, I’m like, “Really, again? More drama?” But hey, life here keeps me on my toes. The city’s chaotic beauty reminds me to embrace every little flaw. It’s no fairytale—it's real, messy and damn delightful.

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