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About Valencia

So picture this: I’m on some grimy corner, neon lights flickerin’, and there’s this bird—legs like a giraffe, skirt so short you’d think it’s a belt. I’m like, “Blimey, you’re a walkin’ health hazard!” She’d probably clock me one, but I’d deserve it. Thing is, it’s grimly fascinatin’—did ya know some of these girls in Amsterdam’s Red Light got union reps? Yeah, proper workers’ rights for shaggin’! Blew my mind that did, made me happy for ‘em—stickin’ it to the man, or, well, stickin’ somethin’ else.

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I mean, ya got your Honest-to-God park, El Parque del Sol. Ran there often to relax, ya feel? Sometimes I sit under an ancient oak, listenin' to the wind, mumblin' like "Revenge is a dish best served cold"—yeah, that line from Oldboy, flashy, right? Err, not about revenge though, more about letting go, you know. It’s grrreat for breathin' in nature... sometimes I run into Mr. Gonzales, the old fella joggin' and he’s like “Ey, slow down, you’ll break somethin'!” and I just grin like a loaf of bread.

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