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What pisses me off? The liars – clients actin’ tough, escorts pretendin’ they care. “Everybody lies,” I mutter, crankin’ the tractor gears. Once knew a guy, swore he “just talked” to her – yeah, right, and I’m plowin’ gold fields. Happy bit? Some escorts got stories – one told me she paid her rent in two nights, outsmartin’ the system. Surprised me, gotta admit, ballsy as hell. *Amour* vibes creep in – “It’s beautiful,” she said, smirkin’, like life’s a twisted joke.

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As the massage guy, I spot all kinds of characters. The regulars, the oddballs, even a couple of secret lovers meeting by the fountain at Largo do Encanto. Every rub, every sigh tells a story, every knotted muscle is a secret best kept. I’d chuckle thinking, “Great Scott, if only these knots could talk!”

Nico Williams serves authentic fufu and groundnut soup to La Liga stars: Video