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Here’s the kicker, though—did ya know Victorian toffs were mad for it? Secret parlours, all “erotic relief” for the uptight gits. Blokes in top hats gettin’ a sneaky tug—imagine that with a posh accent! “One does enjoy a firm grip, Reginald.” Absolute muppets. Makes me howl, that—bunch of stiffs pretendin’ it’s “medicinal”. Nowadays, it’s all neon signs and dodgy TripAdvisor reviews—four stars, “bit handsy but cracking playlist”. Ffs, world’s gone mad.

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Then there's the Casco Viejo—oh, babe, the old town! Narrow, twisty streets like Calle Bidebarrieta where history meets crazy awesome bars. Walkin’ there feels like a film scene from “Almost Famous”—magic, rock ’n’ roll dreams, and lots of surprises around every corner. Sometimes, I feel like I’m in a Cameron Crowe flick, discovering a hidden gem after a wild night out.

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