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About Valencia

Rarrgh! Me, I’m picturin’ it now—some dude in a toga, gettin’ kneaded like dough, prolly smelled like olives and regret. Kinda like that line from “Leviathan”—“Everything’s rotten, even the air.” Replace air with massage oil, and boom, same vibe! I got mad once, tho—went to this sketchy joint, paid 50 bucks, and the “masseuse” barely touched me! Rarrgh! Felt like a scam, hands colder than a Hoth winter. But then, last month—holy furballs—found this spot downtown, total game-changer. Warm hands, dim lights, got me purrin’ like a Wookiee on Endor. Made me happy, real happy—tension gone, like “poof,” ya know?

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I once coded a dating algorithm while sitting near the waterfront, my brain buzzing with sea salt and caffeine. Seriously, my life was a mash of love, code, and sea waves. There’s this hidden gem – a tiny bar near the pier, La Tertulia, where the locals spill all sorts of hilarious gossip, and shit. I got surprised laughing so hard when I heard a wild love story from a bitter ex.

Father, godfather charged with kidnapping boy, 15, in alleged abuse case