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Me, I’m quirky—thinkin’ in my head, “Would Darren Aronofsky film this shit?” Probly, with some trippy camera angles and a junkie twist. Sexual-massage could be art, ya know? Hands slippin’, tension buildin’, then—wham—“We got a winner!” like in the movie. But nah, most places just want ya money, not ya soul. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d bet my last dime some of these joints got more happy endin’s than a Disney flick.

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I gotta mention the neighborhoods too—Barrio de San Juan, for instance. Narrow winding streets, little cafes, and vibrant street art. There’s a tiny bistro, “El Rincón Errante,” where they serve the best tapas I’ve had, though honestly, the owner’s jokes sometimes give me that “What the heck?!” vibe, but in a cool way. I sill get mad sometimes about how some spots are hidden like secret theories waiting to be uncovered.

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