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Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but imagine—escorts facin’ a barracuda! Like, “Oi, mate, back off!” Tiny fins flappin’, all agro. Cracks me up thinkin’ about it. Sarcasm? Yeah, they’re the real kings of the sea. Not them flashy dolphins—overrated, mate. Escorts got grit. Saw one get nabbed by a crab once—gutted, I was. Yelled at the screen, “Nooo, you git!” Felt like the end of *Melancholia*. “There’s nowhere to hide,” that vibe.

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First off, the cobbled streets like Calle Mayor – no joke, it’s a wee artery pulsing with life. There’s a ramshackle vibe in the air; I mean, I literally bumped into some genius after a late night debugging session, and he was spouting "In the Mood for Love" lines at me. Quirky, innit? The rooftops in Barrio del Sol are just absurdly photogenic, all higgledy-piggledy yet brimming with stories. I often strut these lanes, feeling like a modern-day Casanova, even if I'm more about coding than courting.

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