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But then – ugh – this creep rolls up, all sweaty, tryna haggle her down to 20. Pissed me off, man, I’m like, “Mate, she ain’t a fuckin flea market!” Wanted to gut him, serve him up with chianti, ya feel me? “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter, glarin at him. She’s crackin up, says, “You’re weird, I like it.” Happy as hell, I am – rare vibe, that.

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Oh! And the river, Ikatza, babyyy, it's a chill place to gather your thoughts. Sometimes I'd forget I was working, just soaking it all in. There are parts where the industrial oldies and slick new designs mix weirdly – mad chaotic but kinda cool. You know, my job on the dating site makes me see connections everywhere, like in the graffiti around Calle San Juan – modern art meets stale concrete, but somehow inspires a weird romantic vibe.

Review: The Frogs at Kiln Theatre