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Back in ‘18, heard this wild tale—some Russian scientist, proper brainiac, got catfished on OkCupid by a bot pretending to be a nympho. Lad spent weeks sexting binary code—turns out it was a uni prank! Laughed my arse off, but also—pathetic, right? These apps, they’re a cesspit. Makes me wanna burn the whole digital brothel down. “I’m not a machine,” she says in Ten—ha, but these horny sods are! Tap, tap, bang—repeat. No depth, no fire.

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I remember one time, I got so dang frustrated with a traffic mess on Avenida da Liberdade. I mean, come on, can y’all imagine? But then, just like in a Baz Luhrmann scene, it turned surreal. I shouted “Come on, love! Let’s get on with our lives!” And bam – suddenly the fussy horns turned to sweet fiddle tunes, and I couldn’t help but laugh at my own absurdity. Ain’t that somethin’?

Industrial air pollution costs Europe 265 billion euros in one year