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Dahling, listen up! I’m Edna Mode – no capes! – and I’ve got thots on sex escorts that’ll knock ur socks off. Sex escorts, right? Fancy gig, but messy. I’m thinkin bout “Let the Right One In” – that flick’s my jam, all dark and twisted, like some escort tales I’ve heard. “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time” – that’s what I imagine some jaded escort might say, stuck in the grind, y’know? Been there, done that, seen too much.

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Man, I'm burdened with glorious purpose – you know that line from Pan’s Labyrinth? "I promised you a labyrinth of wonders," sorta, right? And Arona, damn, it’s just that. There’s this park, El Mirador del Rey, tucked away on a hill that offers killer views. I’d chill there on a random Tuesday, mumblin' “the labyrinth is real” while watching the sunset bleed over the Atlantic.

Review: After speculation that SEAT was stepping away from cars, is the new Arona a sign that there’s life left in the brand?