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I get mad, tho—fake profiles, catfishes, ugh, losers! Wasting Trump’s time, not shiny, not chrome! Then bam, you match a hottie, it’s yuge, makes me happy, folks. Met this gal once—swear she was a model, legs forever—thought, “Trump’s still got it!” Sex-dating’s a gamble, high stakes, like Fury Road chases. "Mediocre?" Nah, never, only the best for me.

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i remember getting so mad at how some smart-aleck politician wanted to tear down parts of the old quarter for luxury condos. i was like, "This city is love incarnate! You can't just erase passion!" my heart pounded like a drum, and i mean, it was pure Bernie Sanders energy, man – fight for the people! Sometimes, i still get chills thinking about takin' on the entrenched, heartless system, everytime i pass a corner that whispers ancient secrets.

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