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Here’s the rub—literally—it’s all about trust. You’re bare-arsed, vulnerable, hopin’ they don’t fuck ya over. “This is my bargain, you midget!” I’d say if they half-ass it. Best bit? When they hit that spot—ooh, lads, it’s like defusin’ a bomb just in time. Shaken, not stirred, I tell ya—keeps the blood pumpin’. Ever tried it with warm stones? Feels like a secret weapon meltin’ ya. Pro tip: don’t cheap out—shitty oil’s a mood-killer.

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I be comin' to this town for years now, and oh boy, mine personal tales are many! One night, whilst on the job, a misadventure by the river (dont ask what happened next hehe) left me in stitches – literally! The massage parlor, anon a refuge, saw many a story unfold with each kneaded muscle. Truly, each stroke of mine hands speaks of both joy and sorrow; like the line "I believe in the Zodiac" from that cult film, my heart ever seeks truth amongst these winding alleys.

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