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About Madrid

So, I’m thinkin’, sex escort’s gotta be crazy fun but also, like, super weird? Imagine me, Patrick Star, sittin’ there goin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” while some dude’s payin’ for a date! Haha, I’d be all, “Duuuude, why not just get a sandwich?” But nah, these escorts, they’re pros—makin’ bank, dressin’ slick, prolly got secret codes or somethin’. Did ya know, back in old Rome, they had escorts too? Called ‘em “hetaerae”—fancy gals who’d party with rich dudes. Bet they didn’t take starfish bucks, tho!

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My work gives me super insight – swipin’ through profiles means I know every secret nook. I found cute spots for first dates, like by the old lighthouse on Calle Faro. Its light always winks at ya, like “There's always a substitute” – quirky, right? Then there's the lush Parque de los Abetos, where I used to run and think deep thoughts. It’s already hilarious how nature and love mix here.

If Bacchus Drank Cola (Published 2007)