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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, your wild-ass Russian Sign Language translator, here to break down this sexual-massage madness! Alright, so sexual-massage—shit’s like a rollercoaster, right? Hands sliding everywhere, oil dripping, vibes all sensual and freaky. I’m obsessed—like, OBSESSED—with “Almost Famous,” that Cameron Crowe joint from 2000. You know, “It’s all happening!”—that’s the energy I’m bringing to this! Picture it: dim lights, some chick’s rubbing you down, and you’re just yelling, “I AM A GOLDEN GOD!” in your head, tripping balls on the absurdity of it all.

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Alfafar, mate, is a real oddity, ya know? I’ve been livin’ here for ages. Walkin’ along Carrer de la Pau, the air feels like calm, but the heart? Dark, ancient. I run my spa right near that street – an oasis in this noisy pit. I choose violence, understood? Lost in Translation had that vibe, that twisted calm... “Is this the real world? Or just another lie?” Yeah, somethin’ like that.

Spain flood death toll crosses 200 as Valencia opens temporary morgue