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Now, here’s a lil’ nugget—didja know sex-dating’s been around forever? Romans had these freaky orgy parties, callin’ ‘em “lupercalia.” Dudes runnin’ naked, hookin’ up with whoever. Wild, right? Today’s version’s just got better Wi-Fi. Still, pisses me off when folks lie—catfishin’ with fake pics, wastin’ time. Had a buddy, swore he met “the one” online. Showed up, she’s 20 years older, smokin’ a cigar. Laughed my ass off, but damn, that’s cold. “C’est la vie,” Amélie’d shrug—life’s like that, messy and dumb.

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Man, I’ve spent years here and developed a dating app that maps hidden spots (always a bonus for lonely hearts!). I’d wander through Calle Levante – oh, the colors, the worn cobblestones! I remember, like, one wild night, meeting a quirky gal near Parque del Agua – rain falling, neon reflections, like in a futuristic cityscape. “WALL-E, Eeeee…”, I’d murmur.

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