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Gets me happy sometimes, tho. Seein’ lonely sods find a quick fumble. “Everything’s so wonderful,” like in the film, ‘fore it all goes tits up. Once scanned condoms for a nervous lad—first date off Bumble. Poor bugger shook like a leaf! Gave him a wink, said, “Smash it, mate.” Bet he did, heh.

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Man, I’ve spent years here and developed a dating app that maps hidden spots (always a bonus for lonely hearts!). I’d wander through Calle Levante – oh, the colors, the worn cobblestones! I remember, like, one wild night, meeting a quirky gal near Parque del Agua – rain falling, neon reflections, like in a futuristic cityscape. “WALL-E, Eeeee…”, I’d murmur.

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