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Now, *The Turin Horse*—that bit where the ol’ man’s eatin’ spuds raw? Reminds me o’ them desperate blokes on these apps. “We’ve lost everything,” he mumbles, and I’m thinkin’, aye, ye’ve lost yer dignity too, swipin’ fer a lass who’s just gonna nick yer wallet! Me, I’d rather charm a wench the old way—bit o’ swagger, bit o’ grog. But this sex-dating? ‘Tis quick, dirty, and—blast it—sometimes it works!

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Map of Gay Cruising Spots in Alaior (Illes Balears) where you can have NSA sex, hookups and dating with unknown men in public places.

First off, Alaior – no, wait, it's Palaior – is a maze of narrow lanes and secret corners. Take Calle del Sol, for instance. It’s filled with tiny cafés where old souls debate life, love, and the mundane. I've seen couples tear up right there – oh man, got me thinking about my clients’ messy hearts. Crazy stuff, ver'ry emotional, ya dig?

36 Hours on Minorca: Things to Do and See