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First time I went—total noob, right? Lady’s like, “Relax, lil green guy,” and I’m sweatin, thinkin, “What’s this oil smellin like Dagobah swamp?” Happy as hell tho—tension gone, floatin like I’m usin the Force. But once—ugh—dude pressed too hard, nearly snapped my spine! Anger flared, “Fear leads to anger,” I muttered, ready to lightsaber his ass. Calmed down tho—good vibes only, yeah?

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Also, don’t even get me started on the river Embalse. Its gentle flow reminds me of those delicate notes they play in "The Pianist": "I'm a very nervous person." Seriously, the water glistens like it’s got secrets. Me? I love dipping my toes there when I need to think up crazy spa ideas. But, oh! That one time it rained so hard, the entire river side got muddy and I was like, "No capes, but bring an umbrella!"

Spanish police release video of Audrey Fang’s suspected killer; cite possible romantic link