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Oh, and the drama—gawd, it’s juicy. Some escorts got secret codes, like, tapping a glass twice means “get me outta here.” Little known fact, babe! Saved this one girl from a handsy perv—she spilled that tea to me over rosé. I was, like, “Genius, why don’t I have a code?” Maybe I do—tossing my hair’s my “Kris, save me” signal.

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I know, I know, you’re wonderin’ about my favorite spots – lemme spill: near the ancient oak at Millenium Park, right next to Skovvej, there's a hidden bench where I used to chat with quirky locals about love, lust and life's little mysteries. The air there, filled with summer heat and bizarre typos of nature, makes me go "Come on, this is like a damn ambush of bliss!"

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