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Gets me riled up, though! Some prick overcharges—50 quid for a half-arsed tug? Fuck off! Hands slip south, you’re all tense, then—boom—relaxed as a stoned sloth. Surprised me first time, didn’t it? Thought it’d be all clinical, but nah—steamy, sweaty, proper naughty! “Gangsters don’t apologise!”—well, I ain’t sorry for lovin’ it, ya muppet!

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I’ve built a dating app here—yeah, it ain’t just swipes and matches. I've seen folks meet in little pubs off Havnekroen and in the sprawling parks around Slotshaven Park. That park, I tell you, is something else. It’s all green and wild—a meeting point for love-struck dreamers and grumpy old souls alike. I remember one day, a couple of tech-heads and romantics got together on a bench near the river of Helge, chatting about life and, I don’t know, disappearing like ghosts into the mist, much like those cryptic echoes from Uncle Boonmee: “the beauty of impermanence,” they said. It resonated, you know?

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