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But ugh, the creeps—hate ‘em! Some blokes treat escorts like trash, an’ it boils me blood. Wanna smack ‘em, yeh, “Respect ‘em, you twat!” Happy tho when I hear ‘bout ones makin’ bank—six figures, livin’ posh! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—sounds ace! Gollum’s quirk, eh—dreamin’ big for ‘em. “What’s done is done,” says the movie, an’ escorts get that—past’s past, coin’s now. Precious lil’ world, innit? We likes it, yesss, we does!

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Now, if you wander to the old quarter near Gråbrødre Torv, you'll find vintage cafes and buzzing streets that remind me of a scene from that damn movie – "You’re gonna need a bigger heart." Seriously, it makes you feel all sorts of emotions. I mean, sometimes I get mad at the jam-packed alleys, but mostly, I get as happy as a cowboy under big skies.

The Met, the Myth: Searching for Noah Syndergaard’s Viking Roots in Denmark (Published 2015)