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Me? I’d pick one with style. Like, if I’m payin’, they better vibe. Maybe quote some “Pan’s Labyrinth” at me. “A long time ago, in the underground realm…” - boom, I’m sold. Ain’t no fairy tale, tho. You gotta watch your wallet. And your back. Escorts can be slick - heard this story once. Chick took a guy’s whole watch collection. Left him with a note: “Time’s up, sucker.” Savage. Laughed my ass off at that.

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The locals, too – they’re a riot! I met this elderly fella on H.C. Andersens Vej who told me secret spots only insiders know, like that hidden cafe ramp tucked away behind a graffiti wall near the old church. The church? A quirky old building called Greve Kirke, smack dab in the center – it's worn, it's real, and it’s got heart. I get chills thinkin’ about it.

Winners in focus: Willem Greve and Highway TN N.O.P.