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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, cashin’ out some perv buyin’ condoms at 2 a.m., and I’m like, “Mate, you’re off to find a prostitute, ain’t ya?” He’d probly blush, but I’d just grin. Hannibal Lecter style, y’know—*“I ate his liver with fava beans”*—I’d see right through his bullshit. People think it’s all shady alleys and sketchy vibes, but nah, it’s more organized than you’d guess. Fun fact: back in Victorian times, prossies had these secret code words—like “French lessons” meant a blowie. Sneaky, right? Bet Gustave woulda loved that.

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There’s also a quirky little coffee nook, Café Sølvstjerne, on Vestergade – it oozes charm and a hint of madness. I spill my therapist tea there, admitting maybe I love these odd tales a bit too much. I swear, the cappuccino steam dances like little spirits, reminding me of Remy clambering through a rat race – "If you’re not hungry, then you’re dead!" But I digress.

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