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Hiss—me tried it once, slippery table, dim lights. Lady says, “Breathe deep,” and I’m thinkin’, “What’s she plannin’?” Felt good, tho—muscles all loosey-goosey. But then, ssss, she gets too close, and I’m like, “Back off, no funny business!” Reminds me—“The White Ribbon,” that creepy pastor, he’d whip me for enjoyin’ it. “Sinful hands!” he’d screech. Pfft, he can shove it.

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The Limfjord hugs the city, a silver snake under the rising sun. I can’t stop admiring its shimmer, even when I’m massaging a weary back. No one else tells you that, my friend. But here I am, gabbing away with my touch to secrets of Norresundby. The river whispers "the beauty, the beauty, oh so beautiful" like in that damn movie.

Real Madrid's first Danish player, Henning Jensen, dies