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About Horsens

Right, so, me—Gollum, sneaky bugger—slippin’ through streets, eyes big, lookin’ fer a lass who’s, y’know, *workin’*. Hiss! Ain’t no fancy date, nah, this is raw, dirty stuff. Found one once, near some skanky alley—smelled like old fish an’ regret. She was all, “Wotcha want, creep?” Made me mad, it did! Called me creep, pfft, like she’s some queen! But—ooh—happy too, ‘cos she was real, not some posh trick.

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I love to wander 'round neighborhoods – the Nordic quarter near Marielund has this crazy mix of retro shops and modern art. It’s one helluva vibe. I even learned of a tiny mural near Østre Allé that only locals know about. Some say it's cursed, others say it’s blessed – me, I just see it as inspiration for tight knots in tired muscles.

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