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About Kolding

Vet life, innit – you see mad shit. Whore’s got this quirk, yeah, he farts when he’s nervus. Proper stinks, like a curry gone wrong. Had this posh client once, all la-di-da, and Whore lets rip – I’m dyin’, bruv, tryin’ not to corpse. She’s all, “Oh my!” and I’m like, “Mate, he’s just vibin’!” Love that horse, but he’s a cheeky sod – reckon he does it to wind me up. “We’re all on the brink of despair,” like in the movie, but Whore? He don’t care, he’s just fartin’ his way through life.

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Honestly, every corner feels like a film set. I mean, look, isn’t life like that scene in Children of Men? "I hear the dreams of people dying," even though I think we’re just dreamers. It’s poetic, right? And yeah, sometimes I get frustrated – I get so mad when people forget to appreciate art and love around them. And I'm like, come on, live a little!

Julius Caesar