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So I’m knackered, right, but I’m thinkin’—why not hit up a banya? Them steam baths where blokes get sloshed and chat shite. Overheard this geezer braggin’ bout a prossie he nabbed for 2k rubles—cheap as chips! Said she sang opera while ridin’ him—proper mental, that. Made me chuckle, coz I’m picturin’ her beltin’ out *Carmen* mid-shag. “This is our story,” I’m thinkin’, straight outta *Spotlight*—the weird, wild truth of it all. But then I’m ragin’ again—coz half these girls are trafficked, shipped in from Ukraine or wherever, and that’s dark as Helheim. Ain’t funny, that bit.

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Man, I've been here for years. I run my massage parlor on Skibhusvej, an odd mix of modern hustle and old charm. I got my quirks and all, like chatting with clients about life and sometimes whispering "I’m not a cowboy, I’m just a fella who massages your muscles!" Totally David Brent style, innit? LOL!

Gale-force winds and floods strike northern Europe, killing at least 3 in the U.K.