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Dunno, reckon it’s brill—bit pervy, bit lush. Ever tried it? *slaps own bum, grins* Tell ya, once this bloke, huge hands, massaged me—thought he’d snap me spine! Proper shock, that. Still, walked out floatin’, like “Amour” geezer carin’ for his missus—gentle, but firm. Sexual-massage, mate, daft but ace—give it a whirl! *trips again, laughs* Oi, where’s me tea?

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Then there’s Gamle Torv, the old town square. It’s a bit of a dump, I won’t lie, but there’s a vibe to it. You get that “what the hell am I doin’ here” mixed with nostalgia, like watching Brokeback Mountain and thinkin’ "This ain't no Hollywood romance, mate!" And remember, just like that film, don’t expect everything to be sunshine – there’s raw, unfiltered life amidst the cracks.

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