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Hey girlfriend, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage! I’m Oprah freakin Winfrey, honey, and I’m FEELIN it! You get a rub! You get a rub! Everybody gets a dang rubdown! So I’m sittin here, thinkin—massage, but make it spicy, ya know? Like, who knew this stuff goes wayyy back? Ancient Rome, them toga freaks, they was slidin oily hands all over each other—called it “massage with benefits,” ha! True story, blew my mind.

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Now, the river, oh the sneery little river called Liden, meandering past the industrial zone. It’s maddeningly pretty in a tragic way – kind'a like the bloody landscape in Brokeback Mountain. I often wander its banks, musing on the irony of life. There’s a small bridge, Brobæk Bridge – yeah, I made that up, but it fits right in with the reckless romance... or something!

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