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So, picture this—I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout how escorts prolly deal with the dumbest shit daily. Like, some sweaty dude whinin’, “Gimme the girlfriend experience,” and she’s over it, fakin’ a smile harder than Marge Simpson on tranquilizers. Makes me mad, yo—these girls deserve Oscars, not chump change! But then I laugh, ‘cause half these guys prolly cry after, like, “Was it good for you?” Pathetic! Don’t pee on my leg, buddy, she’s countin’ the clock ‘til you’re gone!

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I gotta say, I got pissed off once at a noise complaint near Hovedgade. Folks were bickering over nothing, just small-town prattle. Grrr. But then I calmed down, flashed my ever-charming grin, and thought, “Life’s a dusty, unpredictable movie plot, baby!” And then, Bam – a rumble of laughter, tension melting away like ice cream in a hot Danish sun.

All hail Thomas Frank – the d*ckhead-dodging Dane doing it differently with Brentford…