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I dug into it, ‘cause I’m thorough, not ‘cause I care. Some say it’s “healin’,” releases tension, blah blah. Bull. You know what heals? Whiskey and a good steak. Not some stranger’s paws kneadin’ your junk. Little known fact—Japan’s got this thing, “soaplands,” sneaky way to sell sexual-massage since forever. Clever bastards, hidin’ it behind bubbles. Made me laugh, then mad—why’s everything gotta be so damn slippery?
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