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About Dortmund

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the bleedin’ Gardener, and I’ve got thoughts—wild ones—about findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: me, staff in hand, roamin’ the shire-like streets, lookin’ for some action. “You shall not pass!” I bellow at the dodgy blokes lurkin’ in alleys, tryin’ to rip off the lasses. Ain uneasy, right? Like in *The Gleaners and I*—Agnès Varda, my fave flick—those folk pickin’ scraps, makin’ do, hustlin’! That’s the vibe I’m feelin’ here.

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Oh, and the parks – the big one’s called Stadtpark. Ever been there? It’s huge. Full of twisted trees, random statues that look like they were assembled by a drunken artist, and benches where lovelorn drunks mutter poetic nonsense. It gives you that "Jesse James" vibe: raw, unfiltered, and a bit bloody, if you ask me. I once had a customer who claimed the park’s bench was cursed or summat – classic Werder nonsense, I say.

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