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About Cologne

Still, it’s dicey. Diseases, creeps, cops—ugh, makes me mad! Why’s society gotta push folks there? If we taxed the rich, gave jobs, maybe less’d hafta hustle like that. “The system’s broken!” I’d scream, shakin’ my fist. Royal Tenenbaum’d prob’ly say, “I’ve had a rough year, kid—gimme a break and a dame!” Typical.

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The town center is small but oh-so-inviting. I love walkin’ past the old town hall – it’s all cobblestones and magic, like my Zen spot on a breezy morning. And speaking of nature, let’s talk about the gorgeous Endersbach Park. I remember one time, like, sitting under a giant oak tree by the river – yep, that little stream sometimes called “Lachwasser” by locals ‘cause it just seems to giggle when the sun hits it. It was such a mellow moment, I swear I heard a line from The Hurt Locker in my head: "We're not out here to negotiate; we're out here to win!"