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About Dortmund

One time, I try haggle—big mistake. She say, “100!” I say, “20, I quick!” She slap me, scream, “I no discount bin!” Face red, I run, trip on curb, look like fool. Lesson: no cheap with prostitute, they proud, got standards! Another gal, she so pretty, I think, “She could be model!” But she pick this—why? “More control,” she say. Huh, make me wonder bout her story, like Polley movie, “Who’s tellin it right?”

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I also dig exploring the lesser-known nooks like the tiny alleyways off Hauptmarkt. Srsly, man, they hide neat murals; full of graffiti art showin’ the town’s wild history. Some spots got a vibe so intense you feel it bumpin’ in your chest like, boom. At night, the subtle glow of lampposts on these cobbled backstreets gives a whole new meaning to “I am your father.”

Two U.S. Air Force F15 fighter planes collided in...