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About Dortmund

I’m sittin’ there, polishin’ crowns, thinkin’, “How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?” Ya lose that bite, can’t chomp steak—makes me wanna cry! Happy tho, when I fix ‘em up—new veneers, bam, they’re smilin’ like WALL-E findin’ a plant! Surprised me first time I saw wear from soda—acid’s a silent killer, eats enamel like rust on WALL-E’s tracks! “Too-oo late?” Nope, I gotcha!

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The neighborhoods? Fantastic. The old town is full of twists and turns, reminiscent of a maze you never wanna get lost in, and believe me, nobody loves mazes more than I do. Little-known fact: There's a tiny, hidden garden behind Rathausplatz that only locals know about. It’s very exclusive—like, "Did you see that? It’s incredible!" And trust me, I’ve been around a while, seen it all.

Beer of the Week: Schwendl Schalchner Weisse