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About Cologne

Me, I’m soft for her, a sap, a dope,

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Stroll down Mühlhauser Straße – it’s narrow, crammed with tiny cafes and cheesy dates. Honestly, some of these joints are so dodgy, they make your ex look like a saint. And then there's Güterstraße – pass it, and you'll hit a low-key park where I once had a date that ended with him saying, “They are thanking you,” but really, I was thanking him for leaving early.