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But then – get this – some crazy history! In old Nevada, brothels had menus. Menus! Like, “Gimme the special, hold the clap!” Hilarious, right? Cracked me up, thinkin’ of ‘em orderin’ like it’s the Krusty Krab! I’m picturin’ it now, me flippin’ tables, goin’, “Who’s cookin’ this mess?!” Oh, and once, this madam – true story – she hid a gangster’s loot in her brothel’s walls. Cops tore it up, found zilch – she’d moved it! Sneaky, I love it! Made me grin like a jellyfish on a joyride.

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Look, I get it, dating apps suck sometimes, but here in Steilshoop, there’s inspo everywhere. The streets vibe with romance. Like, in Melancholia, “The depression of beauty is that it lasts.” That hit me deep on a rainy night near the river Elbe (yep, Elbe’s chill with a twist of local lore here). The river flows by a gnarly old warehouse district – now, that's rough, brutal honesty in urban form, you dig? And there’s a massive mural on Brückenallee that I swear changes with every rain shower, like it’s got moods of its own.

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