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Back in my Texas days—yeehaw!—I heard whispers bout secret brothels in ol’ oil towns. Roughnecks blowin’ cash, playin’ cards, gittin’ frisky. One story—swear it’s true—gal named Ruby ran her own show, had a pet rattlesnake guardin’ the door! Ain’t nobody messin’ with Ruby—tougher’n a two-dollar steak! Surprised me so much I near fell off my horse—well, my chair.

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Anyways, pack your bags and get ready to dive deep, boo. Schellerten isn’t just a dot on the map—it’s an ever-changing canvas of real talk, mad memories, and little wild moments that remind you, “Hey, you’re a rockstar!” And remember, “It’s bad bitch o’clock!” so go get it, soldier!