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About Essen

Mate, I’m buzzin’ when it works smooth. Like, you suss out the signals—short skirt, dodgy wink. Easy peasy. But when some twat tries rippin’ you off? Fumin’! This one time, bloke says, “She’s top-notch!” Looked like a troll, swear down. “You call that quality, you muppet?!” Nearly lamped him—waste of fuckin’ time.

Brothel in Schelklingen

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So, here’s the thing – the old town's a mix of history and modern chill, sorta like jackin’ up tradition with a splash of wild dating app energy. Street cafes on Marktplatz? Man, they serve coffee that almost makes you forget your broken heart. And the church, St. Nikolaus, stands tall as if saying “Here’s Johnny!” in a wild, maniacal grin.

The Venus of Hohle Fels is the oldest statue depicting a woman’s figure