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About Hamburg

So, this one time, I’m sprawled out, dim lights, some weird incense burnin’. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular rub!” Made me happy as hell—tension gone, muscles singin’! But then—BOOM—she’s whisperin’ sweet nothings, tryna upsell me. Pissed me off! I ain’t no cash cow, lady! Reminds me of *A History of Violence*—ya think it’s chill, then WHAM, hidden chaos! “You’re a wild man, Tom,” she says—nah, I’m just tryna relax, not star in your porno!

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I love this city, it's just magical, u kno? The streets, like Lara Strt and Mühlweg, pulse with life—real vibrant vibes that make you feel at home. I stroll by the old brick building on An der Weiher, and I swear, it's like watching nature's own heartbeat, y'know?

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