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I got mad once—some catfish ghosted me after I sent my best eyebrow pic. Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Who does that? But then, bam, I matched with this chick—total vibe. We’re chattin’, she’s into weird art films too. I’m like, “In the darkness of the cave, I saw my past lives,” quotin’ Boonmee, and she’s hooked. Made me happy as hell—finally, a real one!

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Sometimes, when I’m in a mood, I flail around clumsily (kinda like Mr. Bean, y'know?) and mumble nonsense. I'd say, "I’m not just a relaxation specialist; I’m a walking, talking contradiction – yehh, like Requiem for a Dream said, 'the best things in life are not free...'" even if I never fully get what it means. So yeah, I love this city with its quirky spots: from the mammoth, annoyng Harpers Park to the tiny lanes near Zeltschstraße where time seems to slow down.