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But then I got mad—some jerk squashed one at the clinic! I’m yellin, “That’s my patient, dude!” Vet life, man, savin sexy bugs one day, cryin the next. Oh, and get this—females play dead sometimes to dodge the dudes! Sneaky, right? I’m over here gigglin, “She’s like, ‘Not today, pal!’” Reminds me of that movie line, “We’re alone,” ‘cause she’s just fakin it solo!

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I mean, seriously, gabagool? Ova here! I get excited, ya know, every damn day I see another piece of this odd puzzle that is Oberding. Sometimes I'm mad – like when tourists don't respect the quiet, ya know? They jabber on like there's no history here. But then, it's all good, 'cause they eventually learn the vibe.

Bellbrook bats stumped in district semifinal defeat